His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Barsexuality is the new black.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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