That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize