The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
