you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
