Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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