dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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