I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
