There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
