im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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