Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
