I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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