Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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