if you like me you must not know who I am
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
