Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
