Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
