38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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