my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
