I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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