Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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