Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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