Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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