one two three fourrrrnication!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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