Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize