chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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