I'm pants shitting drunk right now
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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