who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
