Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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