I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
