I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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