I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
