It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
