Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize