I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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