Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
