I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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