Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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