he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
