Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
