He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
