quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my being single is dangerous.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize