I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
