I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
