so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
