How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
