They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
