Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
