I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize