This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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