so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
