Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
