OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
