She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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