I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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