He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
