There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
