You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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