you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
