She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
