Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
