I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
