I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
