And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
