Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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