for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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