Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize